DINH HOÀI-TRÂM
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The Strong Independent Woman

8/10/2019

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     A strong woman doesn't have to be a man. There is nothing wrong with a physically strong, more aggressive type of woman, but neither is there anything wrong with a gentle woman. This goes for men too, for strength does not mean lifting dumbbells and making witty comebacks and wisecracks. 
     There have been a lot of strong superwomen in movies coming out in America in the past few years. Wonder Woman, General Okoye of Wakanda in Black Panther, and Captain Marvel of the Avengers. You can also see a shift from the traditional "damsel in distress" trope to modern "strong, independent woman" theme in recent Disney movies such as Brave, Frozen, and Moanna. Some of these new movies pull off the new "strong, independent woman" trend well and some do not. 
     Don't get me wrong, I'm on board with the shift of storytelling away from helpless damsels in distress. As a human who lives through hardships and strives to rise to the challenges of life, I find the "damsel in distress" trope degrading and harmful. It implies that a woman in trouble just sits there doing nothing to better her own situation, which is not the case in the real world, and in any case, is a harmful mental module to follow.  
     So I understand why it's refreshing to see women who are the opposite of empty porcelain dolls. It feels empowering. But I would like to go a step further and see stories differentiate between physical strength and mental strength. And I would like to see that mental strength also involves not just fighting, but loving. The best of superheroes, the best of people, are not just the ones who can lift weights. They have something more. We saw this in Brave, when Merida (on top of being a badass archer) developed understanding for her mother and diplomacy skills to harmonize the feuding warlords. We saw this in Moanna, whose bravery in the face of self-doubt eventually allowed her to save her island. We saw this in Wonder Woman, whose strength was her compassion to help those who were suffering around her. Whereas in Black Panther, yes I know everyone loves it but to be honest General Okoye and her band of woman warriors was just another jump on the "strong independent woman" bandwagon that Hollywood has been taking lately. So is Captain Marvel in Avengers' Endgame, with her snobby "I can do it all by myself" attititude. There's a scene where Thor summons his hammer right next to her face and she doesn't flinch. Impressive, but that by itself is not enough to show strength.
     What I want to see in future stories is a woman that has the feminine traits of being nurturing, emotional, and social and is still strong enough to defend herself and others. The new lazy version of the "strong, independent woman" is about being physically badass and not giving a rat's ass about what others think, but just as an ideal man doesn't just go around pumping his guns and ransacking the place, neither does the ideal woman. It's great to be able to fight, but true strength also involves knowing empathy and compassion. Let's make sure modern stories celebrate femininity instead of stamping it out.

P.S. My new Twitter account is up @dinhhoaitram, and I have added one shitty short story to my website as promised. What does one even do on Twitter?
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The Perfect Time

8/3/2019

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I've been thinking. I've been thinking a lot. I've been thinking so much that I haven't been doing. Last year I left my old life to start a new one in the hopes of gaining more time to write. In the pursuit of my dream I quit my job and flew to Europe with a one-way ticket with the vague intention of teaching English in Vietnam. The goal was to teach English, recuperate, and meanwhile teach myself web development so I could eventually become time and location-independent enough to form exciting experiences and write.

Since I left California in March 2018, a lot has happened. I've had a lots of ups and downs in relationships, career, and health. I kept thinking, "After this is over, then I'll write. Then I'll draw, then I'll create." I kept thinking there will be a time when I can do whatever I want, whenever I want without a worry but worry is always there. Maybe you just get rid of the things that you really cannot bear (toxic jobs, toxic relationships, crisis health issues) and then keep going. It's hard to write when life is hard, but life is always hard. I asked myself, is anything really stopping me from writing or drawing right now, just for 30 minutes a day? The answer was no, so I realized I was stalling myself.

Another thing I worry about is that my product is not good enough, but then I end up hoarding "unfinished products" with the elusive thought that I'll be done "someday". The "I'll finish someday" thought is an excuse that allows me to procrastinate, both with wrapping up my writings and with sharing it to the world, therefore exposing myself to criticism. I've been both lazy and afraid.

Now is the time. I have sufficiently recovered from a health issue that had me bedridden for the past two months. There is literally nothing stopping me from writing. In the next  week, I will add a few stories to my website, possibly talk about the health issue, and polish my social media presence. Maybe Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn. Stay tuned.
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